Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Every Tuesday I leave my house at about 1:30 p.m. to head to the gym. As I leave, I turn down Sitting Bull and pass a woman with white hair, who sits in a blue car. She's waiting. There is a bus stop nearby and I'm fairly certain she is waiting for her grandchild. One reason she stands out to me, among others, is because she is always the first adult there, and always before the school bus arrives. She waits with her windows rolled down and her silver window shade fully expanded on the inside of her windshield. On Fridays, I leave for the gym at about 2 p.m. By that time, most of the parents seem to be there, hanging out in their cars. As I pass them, I am certain that she was, once again, the first one there.
She reminds me of my mother. Though she has taken her turn as a mother, her role as "Grandma" is still in the works, and she takes pride in it.
Today, Hope went down for a nap. After about an hour, and as I was still folding clothes, I heard her start to chatter on the monitor. I muttered to myself, "A mother's work is never done." It's the truth; once you are a mom, your work is never done and your life is changed forever.
I like to mother with joy. I get tired, but I try not to let it show. When I hit the sheets at night, I pray that I will sleep soundly so I can recharge for her. Daily, I remind myself to embrace the changes, and I do for the most part. This blog will chronicle the changes, the events and the drama that surrounds and is infused in the life of a mother. If you choose not to read it, my feelings won't be hurt because I will never know. It will become my nighttime passion, I'm certain.
Not everyone understands this thing called motherhood. And sometimes, there are women who keep secrets from you. It might be that you don't know what questions to ask because you are new to the role. However you want to look at it, you are somewhat on your own to develop your style. There's no manual, there's no guide. And because your child is different from any other, it's up to you to figure out what is best for this little human being. In an effort to explain and sift through some of the mysteries, I will write.